


can you blow my whistle, baby.

by milominderbinder



Series: thirty days of skam fic [20]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Banter, Boy Squad, Drinking & Talking, M/M, Talking About Blowjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-19 02:30:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11303886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milominderbinder/pseuds/milominderbinder
Summary: It's a normal Friday night in Isak's life.  Just five guys, hanging out drunk at McDonalds in the middle of the night, talking about blowjobs, trying to deep-throat coke bottles.  That sort of thing.





	can you blow my whistle, baby.

**Author's Note:**

> asdfgfds i know this is ridiculous but i couldn't get the image of [isak basically deep-throating a bottle](http://deepinskam.tumblr.com/post/162213592898) out of my mind, so we're gonna pretend that video was from this year and even was there to witness it :'D
> 
> i feel like i should preface everything i write where the characters even remotely talk about sex with: i'm very ace and very gay and have no experience with or interest in penises. they sure are funny to write about tho

Later, Isak has a lot of excuses for why he does it.  It’s the middle of the night, and the guys have all ditched out of a party to go to McDonalds, and absolutely all of them are goofing around; he’s still kind of drunk and still kind of high, and he’s not really thinking -- and these days, he’s far more comfortable with himself than he has been at any other point in his whole life, which means joking around with his friends about sex and his sexuality doesn't seem so terrifying anymore.  

So when the conversation turns to sex, as it always seems to at some point when they’re drunk, Isak doesn’t shy away from it like he always used to.  He just wrinkles his nose and listens to Magnus seriously oversharing about Vilde, and the only reason he doesn’t respond is because he’s too busy shovelling fries into his mouth, and in his drunk mind that seems like a very difficult task that can’t be combined with anything else.

“-- but yeah, the only thing is, she’d never given a blowjob before,” Magnus is still saying by the time Isak finishes his fries.  They don’t seem to have satisfactorily soaked up all the alcohol in his stomach, so he reaches across the table and steals a few bites of Even’s food -- Even, who is listening to Magnus with far too much amusement on his face, pushes his fries towards Isak without even looking at him.  “So like, the first time, she didn’t know to cover her teeth!”

The five boys around the table let out a collective wince.   

“That’s like, blowjobs 101,” Isak objects.  The first blowjob he ever gave was to Even and while it had been terrifying, he definitely remembered not to bite Even’s dick -- of course, the fact that Isak has a dick himself, and the sheer mass amounts of gay porn he’s watched in his life, probably made it a bit easier for him than for Vilde. 

“Right?  Yeah, it was --” Magnus trails off in the middle of his sentence, getting distracted by a ketchup packet in the middle of the table.  He’s definitely still the highest out of all of them, though Isak wouldn’t call any of them  _ sober.  _  A moment later Magnus manages to remember where he is and continues, suddenly cheerful, “But she’s gotten loads better since then!  Man, I love her so much.  Hey, Even, is it true guys are better at giving blowjobs than girls?”

It’s such a  _ Magnus  _ kind of question that Isak shouldn’t be surprised.  Still, he groans, letting his head flop back against the tacky McDonalds booth they’re sat in, and somehow wishing the conversation would go back to  _ Vilde _ .

“I’m probably not the best person to ask, Mags,” Even says, eyes glinting in amusement.  “Y’know, I’ve only been with two people, and it wasn’t a  _ boy-or-girl _ thing that made the sex good.”

“Yeah, if you’re asking anyone, you should ask me!” the drunk part of Isak objects.  He feels like his words are spewing out with no guidance from his brain, but his brain is also too foggy to care, and it’s _true._ In his closeted phase, Isak disappeared into the bathrooms at parties with more than his fair share of girls.  “I’ve got blown by more girls than _Even.”_  

Magnus pouts.  “But you never answer my sex questions.”  Alright, he has a point there; Even’s the one who humours Magnus on this sort of stuff, Mahdi and Jonas not even having the energy to keep up with most of his questions, despite the fact they’re the only other straight ones.  “And anyway, it’s different if you didn’t like girls to start with.  Of course you’d think they’re worse.  Even, you really didn’t have a preference, dude?” 

Isak glances around the table, kind of hoping someone will save them from this conversation -- but Mahdi seems to be having some sort of spiritual experience with his chicken nuggets and isn’t paying attention to a single thing going on around him, and Jonas just looks far too amused, raising his eyebrows and watching Isak squirm.  He’s the worst best friend ever.  Huffing, Isak makes a mental note to tell him that later, and then just turns back to correct everyone once and for all on the idea that he and Sonja are equal in bed. 

“No, I’m best,” Isak says -- he originally means to phrase it as a question of some kind, but instead it sort of just sounds like a forceful statement.  Across the table, Even luckily just laughs, and offers Isak the rest of his bottle of coke. 

“Yes, baby.  Of course you’re best.” 

Isak preens a bit as he finishes Even's coke, because he  _ knows  _ he is -- obviously he’d never been present during Sonja and Even’s sex life, but him and Even have had a lot of very candid discussions about their past experience, and Even never shuts up about how ridiculously much Isak turns him on, and besides, they’re just so in love that it would be ridiculous if they didn’t have the mad sort of chemistry that keeps them spending about fifty percent of their lives in bed.  

The thing is, his friends don’t necessarily know all that.  And as Even placates Isak about his blowjob skills, Jonas laughs.

“Bro, you’re so whipped,” he says to Even, nudging him -- Jonas and Even are sat next to each other across the table from Isak, which makes it feel worryingly like they have the ability to conspire against him, which they do regularly and which makes Isak regret ever introducing them.  “As if you’re gonna say your ex girl is better at blowjobs when your boyfriend’s sitting right there." 

Isak is righteously insulted.  Of course it only really matters that  _ Even  _ knows he’s the best blowjob-giver in the universe, but he hardly wants to sit there while his friends drag his reputation through the mud.  Especially since, although they’re cool with Sonja now and Isak appreciates a lot of what she’s done, he still has a wicked jealous streak that hates the years she got with Even before Isak ever met him.  Isak didn’t get to be Even’s first, but he gets to be his best.

So it’s a little bit of all of that, plus a lot of the alcohol and drugs still racing through his system, that spark an idea in him when he looks down and spots the now-empty coke bottle in front of him.

It’s sloppier than he would usually be when giving a real blowjob, purely cus he’s still out of his head and sitting in McDonalds in the middle of the night without building up to this at all, but Isak leans over and catches the top of the bottle between his lips, flicking his tongue against it before curling his lips and sinking down, keeping his eyes up and focused on Even the whole time.  He tries to look as seductive as possible, although he thinks that would be easier if he was going down on an actual penis.  Even’s got a big dick but it’s hardly the width of a  _ bottle,  _ so he can’t sink all the way down, but Isak’s still sure he’s managed to impress everyone judging by how silent it’s suddenly gone -- and by how, when he pulls off a second later, the guys all erupt into cheers and hysterical laughter.

“Damn, Isak’s got moves!” says Mahdi, his face lighting up in one of his typical Mahdi-grins.  Isak is already wondering what the hell he just did and why he ever thought it was a good idea, but Jonas is laughing too and Magnus just looks fascinated. 

“Isak, you can  _ deep throat _ ?” he asks, leaning across the table eagerly.  “Can you teach Vilde how?”

Isak just rolls his eyes, but then, finally, turns to Even.  Even has a look on his face that Isak recognises all too well.  It’s the look he usually has right before he pushes Isak against the nearest hard surface and fucks him all night long until they’re both trembling and overwhelmed.  Actually, when he looks down, he realises Even’s hand is already trembling against the table right now.

“Sorry, guys.” Even stands up all at once, in such a flurry that the last of his chicken nuggets tumble over onto the table, and he reaches out to grab Isak’s hand and pull him up too.  “Good times hanging out, but we have to go home.   _ Right  _ now.”

Isak laughs, but he scrambles over the back of the booth anyway and barely has time to say a cursory goodbye to the guys and shrug into his jacket before Even is pulling him away.  Behind them, their friends are catcalling and yelling ‘ _ get it Even!’  _ and making a ridiculous fuss, but Isak doesn’t care about any of that.  He’s feeling a lot of things; silly and love-drunk and drunk-drunk, oddly proud in a  _ real  _ kind of way that he’s now the sort of person who  _ can  _ be proud about knowing how to give a good blowjob, amazed by how even six months ago bringing up his gay sex skills to any of his friends would have been Isak’s worst nightmare.

Mostly, though, he’s just horny.  And very, very excited to get home, into their cosy little flat and their messy bed, and prove his skills on something far nicer than a plastic bottle.

**Author's Note:**

> also i didn't proofread this so lemme know if you spotted any weird errors, and/or if you liked it!
> 
> also posted on my tumblr [here!](http://milominderbindered.tumblr.com/post/162256212056/thirty-days-of-skam-fic-day-twenty-aka-the-boy)


End file.
